Space Opera Christmas - "I Don't Know What Christmas Is but Christmastime Is Here" ("Guardians of the Galaxy")

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Vote Thrawn - the Chiss Alternative

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The Chiss race from the fictional Star Wars universe don't really do elections: their society is run by a family-based oligarchy.   But if the Chiss did do elections, Grand Admiral Thrawn's bid to lead the galaxy far, far away might have included a manifesto something like the one below. This post is a parody, not an election communication and no attempt to influence any real election on the planet Earth is intended. Fed up with a choice of galactic leaders between psychopathic Imperial mass murderers and utterly ineffective soggy-liberal New Republic wimps? Had enough of politicians who promise you a safe and secure society and then get your entire planet blown up - or even blow it up themselves? Sick to death with incompetent senators who wouldn't know a security threat if it was aiming a turbolaser at them from six feet away? There is an alternative - the Chiss alternative - vote for Admiral Thrawn! My name is Mitth'raw'nuruodo - former Senior Captain in the...
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